Half way through my week of prayer and fasting I became concerned that I was not accomplishing what I set out to do. I wanted to develop more discipline in prayer and daily focus so that the joys of life (God’s presence) would not pass me by. My prayer times this week have not been as peaceful as I hoped. There was a lot of struggle for focus. There were several times in my week that I misfired (either in word or deed) because of distraction, confusion…just lack of focus.
Then I realized that maybe this week I should not have expected to magically experience a peaceful and joyful week, but rather discover the things that keep me from that on a daily basis. Were my mishaps and struggles new or was I simply more aware of them?
I am thankful for a God who is gracious and loving, embracing us even in our failures. I am also thankful that He loves us enough to desire better for us...and that we can attain better through Him.
And I love that much of our “perfecting” does not come from striving but rather our ability to rest in Him. A rest that is equivalent to trust. Rest is not inactivity. It is a submission to God in faith. Trusting that our prayers are a conversation with God, that His Word is powerful and relevant, that obedience to His commands yields blessings, that His provision is sure…trusting Him as we carry out our lives in faith results in rest for the soul.
Today I am aware of how much I still rely on myself instead of trusting God. And how much those things clutter the mind and hinder the peace, the joy.
My husband sums it up well: “Your problem is you think too much. You just have to know.”
Sometimes I feel like I have to think it all through before I can know. But the truth is when God has already said it, then I really already know. I just need to embrace it – rest in it.
There is more to what I will be reflecting on today, but that is left between me and God. I hope you too find time to reflect on what He has been saying to You. Don’t be afraid to think, ask, search and discover. But once you know - trust Him.