This past weekend, my Adam and I celebrated our 5th
Wedding Anniversary. In some ways it feels like we have been together forever,
but I also cannot believe time passed so quickly!
I love to use milestones to reflect, so I decided to come up with
five things I love about my husband and five things I’ve learned about marriage
along the way.
Five Things I Love About Adam
1. He is faithful. Both in his relationship with God and
with me. I love that no matter how tired he is, he will get out of bed at the
same time every day to read his Bible and pray before starting his day. He
loves Truth, devoting himself to the study of what is right and good in God’s
eyes. And he mirrors that in our relationship with a constant desire to learn,
grow and be a great husband to me.
2. He is passionate. With many things, it is all or nothing
for Adam! You won’t see him waste time on things he doesn’t care about. It is
his passion that attracted me to him and it is his passion that gets the best
of us sometimes! Haha But his zeal for what is right and true, for love and a
blessed life…that is what I love.
3. We can be kids together. I love that in the midst of
being responsible adults, I can slide back several years and just be silly with
my husband. We will entertain ourselves will childish games and activities. And
in those moments we relax together, away from the stresses of the day, having
fun just being us.
4. He does not settle for less. This goes hand in hand with
being faithful. He won’t take less than the best in our relationship and in our
walk with the Lord. I love that he challenges me to grow. He works at things
until they are where we need to be, humbles himself to change, leads us to a
new place of understanding, makes wise plans for the future and works hard to
provide and protect. If he can’t fix it, he brings us both before the Lord to
leave it to Him. And his faith is big – bigger than mine at times!
5. He IS my other half. This may seem like an odd one, especially
since in marriage “two become one” so it seems like a given. However, I know
that couples do not always feel at one. We don’t always feel at one. But more
and more, we are getting there. We each have activities that we enjoy on our
own, but I have a growing desire to experience them with him as often as
possible. I feel the most at home when
Adam is with me (and we could be anywhere), but on my own it is not the same. I
love that he is that much a part of me.
Five Lessons on Marriage
1. Marriage is war. It is not a war against one another. At
times it feels that way, but that is exactly when we must realize war must be
waged on the “spiritual forces of evil” (Eph. 6:12). Marriage between a man and
woman is a reflection of God’s desired relationship with His people. Satan’s
plan is to defeat any type of covenant between God and people, any intimacy with
our Creator, anything holy in our lives… and he attacks marriage fervently
because of this. Adam and I are still learning to identify these attacks in our
marriage, but once we recognize what is happening, our response is powerful and
effective. We turn our anger away from each other and realign ourselves with
our covenant in God to proclaim His Truth over the situation. When we fight
against the true attacker with God’s power, we are always victorious and our
marriage flourishes.
2. Selflessness = Peace Making. I feel lately that God’s
calling me out to work on my peacemaking skills. Of course, it is important for
both spouses to both be peacemakers but sometimes God works on specifics
individually. And I have noticed that the times peace eludes us the most is
when we (I) allow selfishness to be present. How can peace thrive in a home where
“me” is the focus? God demonstrated love is a sacrifice. Sacrifice. That means
something dies for the sake of another. When the needs of another are met
first, then there is open giving and receiving, love and respect, security and
joy…peace. Momentary selfishness can’t top that.
3. Enjoying each other must be a priority. Life is hard.
There is (or isn’t) time, bills, work, responsibilities, places to be, people to talk to, meals to make.... Sometimes at the end of the day we are just
two people existing in the same space! It is good to know that fun times
together are not a luxury, they are a necessity. And those fun times are so
refreshing, so important for intimacy and for staving off that nasty selfish
bug. We have to work at it sometimes, but I know we are at our best when we make marriage fun.
4. Good communication is everything (almost). It is a huge
thing though. Good communication wards
off poisonous assumptions (you know how easily those can go wild). Making time
and space to express what is on our hearts allows us build a secure marriage,
learn more about each other, meet each other needs and figure things out
quickly. Assumptions do nothing but stir up insecurity, lies and confusion. Adam and I are always learning how to communicate better so we can get to the
root of the issue and protect our marriage from the lie that we should just be
able to read each others’ minds.
5. God knows what He is doing. I have to admit that there
have been days I wondered why God put Adam and I together. Thankfully I can
rest in the knowledge that God did in fact put us together. And He knows
exactly what He is doing with us. I see that as we grow together…iron
sharpening iron…as our spiritual gifts develop...how God is shaping and molding
us for a perfect purpose, one meant only for us to fulfill. It is exciting and
brings hope to frustrating situations. And despite those frustrations, I can
genuinely give thanks for the journey of learning to love and enjoy my husband
more each year!
The Celebration
Deciding how to celebrate our five years was not easy. We
each had different ideas of what to do, so we got to employ the communication
and selflessness lessons. ;-) We both quickly “let go” and we ended up with a
wonderful anniversary week. I planned a couple little surprises for him
including a week of his favorite dinners (and one new recipe) as well as a special dessert treat. He also
came up with an afternoon of surprises on a trip out of town (I love to get
away)! It was a perfect blending of “us”, serving and enjoying one another.
Just as an anniversary should be. :-)
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| Dinner menu and a yummy surprise. |
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| My new recipe: Caprese Chicken with Balsamic Reduction |
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| Adam's surprise to me: mini-golf and The Dark Knight Rises in IMAX!! |
The first course was Invaders from Planet Putt where we were almost abducted and eaten by cute little aliens.
The second course was the Haunting of Ghostly Greens. Adam enjoyed the misting fans and I found a cuddly ghost.
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| Cooling off with a slurpie (him) and a frap (me) before our IMAX movie. |
We ended the night with dinner at The Cheesecake Factory where we set aside most of our dietary principles and indulged in a slice of Reese's Peanut Butter Cheesecake (me) and a slice of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cheesecake (him). The perfect finale to a perfect day! :-)
